On a day to day basis, I’m mostly satisfied 

I look in the mirror, smile a little and walk away 

"A nice smile is all that matters" I try to reassure myself 

But then there are instances 

Nights like these where I feel like absolute shit 

The built up insecurity and little remarks carelessly passed off by others 

It takes over 

I don’t think anybody asked to look the way they do 

I certainly never asked for the face I’m given 

- one that people feel entitled to make remarks about all the time 

I’ve never asked for eyes that don’t catch any light nor sparkle 

If only lah please 

I asked my mum when I was younger why my eyes were so small

Why I had monolids 

She laughed and said if I had double eyelids I’d be too pretty

Hah

If only lah please

I hate to place my worth and value in my looks 

But that’s what everybody else seems to be doing 

It doesn’t matter how much effort you put into being 

Nice

Genuine 

Caring 

Because all people care about is whether you have a pretty face 

It doesn’t matter anymore 

Whether you have the blackest heart or the narrowest mind

As long as you’ve got streams of likes and comments with heart-eye emojis on your portraits posted online 

You’re good to go 

Alright society, 

I admit defeat 

I accept that I don’t have a pretty face 

And that I’ll never be part of you 

But it’s okay because as much as it cuts deep now 

I know this whole matter is only at the surface level