to burn or not to burn?

I think it's safe to say that I'm quite the sentimental person if I have an ikea box under my bed containing 9 year old birthday cards gifted by people I'd totally avoid if I bumped into them anywhere now. 

And these cards are still around not because I'm too lazy to clear them out.  

I've simply decided that there's still a place for them in the box.

Every now and then, I bust the box out and spend a good hour looking through the various memoirs. 

ah yep there's that beautifully scrapbooked bookmark with my name on it from 2008. I remember being so jealous that blahblah had all this cool decorative shit to create things like this 

oooh we meet once again digitally printed birthday card with a hamster eating a corn on the cover 

"your bestie!!! <3" hmmm yeah....nope

Nothing much ever goes through my mind during the process of excavating through the physical remnants of the past but today I felt a tiny pinch in (on? I'm not sure how that works biologically) my heart. 

I think I got a little angry. 

All I kept thinking was: all the promises turned to bullshit. 

I was upset at all the friendships I let go

I felt apologetic for wasting the time of some who had consistently tried hard at making things work...

But I decided to forgive myself a little. Because between the ages of 7 and 14, people can be quite dumb asses and I'm very sure I was one fine sample of such tween species. 

Then came the other box. 

As I'm typing, the other box sits two metres away with its lid sitting unbalanced over the overwhelming bulge that is a mixture of letters, cards, photographs, a notebook, a glass bottle and other bits and bobs. 

I skimmed through a few of its latest offerings and then I consulted my best friend about burning the entire box. 

I'm still undecided on whether I should do it yet. I mean a huge part of me wants to do it just because it sounds really fun (if not totally environmentally harming) and I really really don't want to have any of these things in my possession anymore. But a part of me wonders if it's fair that I permanently destroy what is hours worth of someone else's work. 

Well, in the mean time 

1) the ikea box now primarily homes a tin box with very very emotionally distant keepsakes, a ziplock bag with everything pertaining to family, all my journals from primary school, various A4 sized material because all my other boxes are too small 

2) there are four new boxes!! ticket stubs, friends I still love, church: I'll always love, new love + travels 

3) the other box is going to be banished soon MUAHAHA 

And I've also realised that some times, circumstances don't permit the preservation of certain relationships. But it's okay. Just keep working at the ones that circumstance has so kindly allowed to thrive. Right?