Running high or running dry?

Following my final submission on monday (what a nightmare going through that one was), my nights and days have been pretty freed up. 

I wouldn't say I'm at the stage where I'm bored yet since I still have one pretty major exam to study for but I'm no longer busy.  

You know how a packed schedule forces you maximise every minute you have? And how when that schedule changes to you now having blocks of free hours you carelessly waste it all away because you think you now have ownership of time?

Urgh. Happens to almost everyone every once in a while.

I would like to think it's unavoidable? But maybe that's just my way of blaming anything but myself.

Anyway, yup, I got caught in that whole shenanigans this week. 

Quiet time used to be my getaway from the stress and chaos of schoolwork. I loved and treasured every moment of reading the bible, singing and praying. I always told myself that the Word was so fascinating, I'd definitely spend more time digging deeper when time allowed. 

As you would guess, that didn't happen. And instead of spending more time with God, I spent none. For two days. 

Wow two days. Doesn't sound long. That's just 2,880 minutes right? What could go wrong?

Some things tend to sound a little over dramatic when translated into words so I'll try my best to minimise that effect in the following line of reflection: 

EVERYTHING GOES WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!1111

My mind started to clutter with really nasty things. 

Insecurities, inadequacies and doubts just started flooding in. 

I was not spared. Even reading a book on coffee got me feeling like shit.

The situation that all these feelings were revolving around was something I felt I couldn't (didn't) really (need to) consult anybody about so I took to pen and paper and wrote about all the crap I was feeling. And as I wrote, these feelings started to drain away. Not because writing is my form of releasing stress but rather because as I went on I realised that the answer to my problems was offering the situation to God. Without Him, this unnecessary dwelling on the negative would never cease. 

That night (yesternight), I went back to my usual quiet time routine. 

And I felt peace. 

(: 

There are still so many unanswered answers to very important questions I have but I trust that He will show His way when the time is right. 

Side note: I'll be free from school in six days!!! INCREDIBLY EXCITED FOR WHAT THE HOLIDAYS HOLD hehe